I’m Amy Bronwen Zemser.

My web designer told me that people surfing the internet need to know my message.  Otherwise they will go away.

I told him that he was very uptight, and that when people come to my page they will know instantly that I have absolutely nothing useful to offer them whatsoever.

I give you stories. Little stories. Big ones. Short ones. Long ones. They come to you in paragraphs and videos, songs and poetry (maybe not so much poetry). At the moment I’m on a mission to write about a picture book every day for a year. But I also write personal essays about coming out, being a gay parent, being a parent more generally, and how to get along with your relatives.

Here are a few other topics you might find on my site:

  • How to solve a pervasive squirrel problem in your attic.
  • Carrying twins in your uterus for nine months without dying
  • Raising them without dying afterward
  • Marriage without murder
  • Sperm donors
  • Breastfeeding, plantar fasciitis
  • I do not have an anal fissure.

People tell me that I am very funny, but when they laugh it is excruciatingly painful.

What I do:

  • I write books
  • I write about picture books.
  • I write blog posts.
  • I MAY air podcasts (stay tuned).
  • I am writing a web show that will air on this site (keep checking).

Sign up to get email from me. Readers on my list get things that normal people don’t. And yes, that was a double entendre.


  1. Patrick Pierce says:

    Friend of a friend (of a friend) – loved the intro and looking forward to more. -Patrick

    • Hi Patrick!

      Tell me how we are connected. I must know or I will die. Thank you for being the first to deflower my new blog, by the way. It might mean that we are married now, but only in NY, with rights that aren’t portable.

  2. Lena Asadov says:

    I think I need ESL all over again to learn some new words you use…you didn’t teach me this stuff in 6th grade…

  3. You’re the best and so intellectual! Cousin Kenney

  4. Cousin Amy,I think Ann Coulter would love you because to know you is to love you. Cousin Kenney

    • Cousin Kenney, I don’t think Ann Coulter would like me at all, but you are a sweetheart to say so. Thank you for reading my blog. I hope you are doing well. Please come see us soon in NY. We love you very much! ABZ

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