How to Fix Your Monkey, a Video, and Happy New Year 2018

Happy New Year 2018! My resolution is to drink more water. Moving on. In case you forgot, it was a huge ordeal to get up early on a Sunday morning to buy this year’s most popular toy, the Fingerling, for my five-year-old twins. In… Continue reading

Christmas Day, 2017

We here at amybronwenzemser.com believe that Christmas is a special family time for creating just the right ambience for idealized childhood memories. Some say that a focus on aesthetics misses the spirit of Christmas, but I respectfully disagree. Scroll down a bit for some… Continue reading

Merry G*ddamn Christmas

I blame the damn fingerling monkey, this hot new toy of 2017, on all my family problems this holiday season.  He’s pretty cute, you have to admit. I mean, just watch like ten seconds of this:   I have never subscribed to any kind of… Continue reading

Thanksgiving 2017: The Band

Well, another successful Thanksgiving year come and gone, replete with all the sugary trimmings, family drama, and dinner table repartee. I look forward to this time of year because as a writer, I love the family fights. It makes such amazing material. This year… Continue reading

Happy Halloween 2017

Happy Halloween from your nicheless blogger — Amy Bronwen Zemser.  I don’t know what I’m doing with this website anymore. I have no goals, no niche, no demographic, no plan. I do have a cautionary tale, however. I practically died last night. Halloween with three… Continue reading

Our Two Cats, Martin Luther and Rosie (Crazy Eyes Mouse Killa).

Greetings from your cat-loving blogger! Some recent news: 1. All three of my children now attend public school. 2. I am no longer breastfeeding my twins. 3. Lynn and I are still together. 4. We are now fostering kittens. We have re-homed ten, but… Continue reading

Halloween 2016, Make it a Happy One

Happy Halloween, my friends. My twins are four and in preschool now, and the other day the parents were told to put the children into costumes for a trip to the local assisted living facility. My twin girls are staunch archetypes. One is tomboy; the… Continue reading

One Small Step Backward for Phyllis Schlafly…

…one giant leap forward for mankind!

Twins Turning Three, and a Video

My girls turned three a few weeks ago, and I’ve been thinking lately about what I went through back then. I remember at the end of the pregnancy I was tired of being stared at, so I decided to stop leaving the house. A… Continue reading

A Note to my Readers

Dear Readers, If you received an email with a secret password, it’s because I’m planning to post a personal essay that is truly personal.  (How is that even possible? you may ask. How much more burning shame can this writer endure?) You’ll need the… Continue reading