Happy New Year 2016: Looking Forward to this Year’s Resolutions

Here’s Ray at 7 reading a book I wrote before he was born and got published shortly thereafter. It’s for the good ten-year-old reader but Ray has always been strong in the reading department. I didn’t tell him to read it. He found it somewhere buried in the piles, noticed the name on it was […]

What’s Up With Me Since Gay Marriage Got Legal All Over

I’m sorry I’ve been remiss, Dear Readers. I’m having some trouble with focus, time management, sugar intake, and coping with the fact that I am now legally married to Lynn in all fifty states. For a while there I was sure I could just move to Louisiana if I wanted to get away from my […]

Twins Turning Three, and a Video

My girls turned three a few weeks ago, and I’ve been thinking lately about what I went through back then. I remember at the end of the pregnancy I was tired of being stared at, so I decided to stop leaving the house. A few weeks before my section, Lynn said, “Aren’t you even going […]

Happy New Year

It’s January the 24th, and I can’t believe the snow out there today.  It’s beautiful. Let’s sled. There are a few things on this and next month’s agenda, for those interested or still following me here. 1. The 2015 Newbery and Caldecott awards will be announced on Monday, February 2, 2015.  Stay tuned for a […]

How to Thaw Your Unborn Children — Update

Dear Readers of Thaw: I’ll be spending some time over the next few weeks working out a book proposal to some literary agents. My Thaw series has something of a bloggy feel (as it should, it’s a blog after all) and I’ve got to make some adjustments before submitting to the great Publishing Monolith. The […]

How to Thaw Your Unborn Children, Part 14

“I like this one,” Lynn said.  “He looks like a really nice person.” “He looks like the manager of Taco Bell,” I said. Lynn said, “Do you want a nice person or do you want some mathematical asshole?”  (she did not say “mathematical asshole.”) We spent a long time talking about what makes a person […]

How to Thaw Your Unborn Children, Part 13

In the spring of 2006 I stood in the hallway of PS 261, an elementary school in Brooklyn, whispering into my cell phone with a representative from Xytex Cryo International, a sperm bank headquartered in Augusta, Georgia. It was my lunch break, I had a few minutes, and I had finally worked up the nerve. […]

Letter from the Editor

Dear Friends, Readers, Lovers, Homosexuals: I can’t believe I’ve fallen this far behind on my personal posts.  I apologize.  I’m writing the portion of How to Thaw Your Unborn Children that has to do with our experience of selecting a sperm donor, getting acquainted  with our fertility doctors (a laugh a minute!), and approaching my […]

Holiday Charm from Me to You…

Dearest Readers, Try as I might, I sometimes can’t make my self-imposed deadline of a personal post every Tuesday and Thursday. I forced my web lady to help me edit the copy from “Personal Posts Every Tuesday and Thursday” to “Personal Posts Most Tuesdays and Thursdays” but these days I’m wondering if I shouldn’t call […]

How to Thaw Your Unborn Children, Part 12

When Lynn and I first got together, we had sex constantly. We’d do it before we went to sleep. We’d wake each other up in the middle of the night and then do it again first thing in the morning and continue on through the morning and early afternoon. By four o’clock in the afternoon […]

How to Thaw Your Unborn Children, Part 11

Readers, I am not allowed to write about my sexual relationship with my spouse.  Who knew that she was reading along all this time, quietly suffering the horror of knowing that any day or week or month she could be this site’s next unsuspecting victim. “I don’t want you to write about our sex life,” […]

Protected: How to Thaw Your Unborn Children, Part 10: (subscribe to blog to read this post)

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How to Thaw Your Unborn Children, Part 9

I’ve been thinking a lot these days about what it means to feel uncomfortable.  Is it really so bad to feel bad?  Why are so many people conflict avoidant?  What does it mean when we brush up against each other the wrong way, and what would happen if we forced ourselves, just once in a […]

Protected: How To Thaw Your Unborn Children, Part 8B (subscribe to the blog for a password to read)

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How to Thaw Your Unborn Children, Part 8A

When I left my husband, it was because I had an affair with a woman. I loved my husband a lot, and we had a great time in the bedroom, too, but I’m of the opinion that you can pretty much teach a monkey to do the stuff you need for your body to ride […]

Protected: How to Thaw Your Unborn Children, Part 7: This post is password protected. If you would like to read on, you must fill out the subscriber box on any page of this website.The password will be sent to you.

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Personal Essays In Your Inbox — When, Did You Say?

Dear Readers: It can’t be Thursday already, can it?  I phoned my web helper person and told her that I was having trouble keeping my promise of two personal posts a week. “Can’t we change the line on the subscriber box from Personal Essays Tuesdays and Thursdays to Personal Essays MOST Tuesdays and Thursdays?  How about […]

A Viral Post…

Dear Readers, Sadly, certain parties within this house of matrimony have deemed my upcoming password-protected post unfit for human eyes. The last time this happened it was politics; this time the subject matter is apparently so explicit my spouse is worried that all my blog followers will go blind. I write you this letter of […]

A Note to my Readers

Dear Readers, If you received an email with a secret password, it’s because I’m planning to post a personal essay that is truly personal.  (How is that even possible? you may ask. How much more burning shame can this writer endure?) You’ll need the passcode to read the post, which should be published soon. If […]

How to Thaw Your Unborn Children, Part 6

Forgive me dear readers, this one is quite rough.  I’ve made a decision to publish, but it’s still very much a draft.  I apologize if you trip over syntax.  ABZ Back in the day before my mind was cured completely, I used to see this therapist named Jan Schreiber. I’ve seen lots of therapists in […]

How to Thaw Your Unborn Children, Part 5

After I left Moira, I got a studio apartment around the corner from where she lived, but since this was in Park Slope, Brooklyn, I might as well have moved to Chicago. Blocks change drastically in a city. I didn’t see Moira or the baby very often, which was painful, but it was often more […]

Book #52: A Personal Essay Around Wemberly Worried

Weirdly, today’s picture book blog post is also a brief personal essay. I’ve always wondered where these two niches — personal essays and A Book a Day — would converge, and I am happy to announce that the day has arrived. I think. I’ve spent these past few days in a complete panic. What, in […]

Public School, Part 5

Lynn and I called the principal and asked for an appointment to see the school.  We told her about our situation and that we understood her classrooms were full.  Maybe next year, we said, with hope in our voices. The school is a five-minute drive from our house.  Right away, the moment we entered the […]

Public School, Part 4

Readers, I am sorry I got myself into this mess of a series.  It’s taking me forever to edit.  From now on I am writing only about bunny rabbits and whether to give your babies almond milk or the regular kind.   During Ray’s first music class of the kindergarten season, the teacher grabbed his […]