Letter from the Editor

Photo for BlogDear Friends, Readers, Lovers, Homosexuals:

I can’t believe I’ve fallen this far behind on my personal posts.  I apologize.  I’m writing the portion of How to Thaw Your Unborn Children that has to do with our experience of selecting a sperm donor, getting acquainted  with our fertility doctors (a laugh a minute!), and approaching my ex-girlfriend’s sperm donor for seeds to make our own kids (he said yes).  I’ve already drafted several versions of what’s to come, but the last time I looked it over it was so boringly told I couldn’t bear to offer it to you, dear readers.  Let me spruce it up a bit, take out the long, complicated tours through Our Reproductive Systems, maybe throw in the photo of our actual sperm donor.  How I want to publicize the photo of our sperm donor!  Lynn says we’ll get sued if I do.  Really?  The comment department is now open.

I’m also behind on personal essays because — guess what! — I was hired to do some local freelance work.  Isn’t that amazing?  It’s because of this site that someone trusted my writing enough to actually offer me paid work.  Paid work?  What’s that?  The only work I’ve been doing lo these past four months is for this vulgar, asinine bear of a woman who runs a new website called www.amybronwenzemser.com.  God I hate her.  She keeps you up all night writing long stories filled with explicitly hideous details of lesbian love affairs and then doesn’t pay you a cent for your labor. She makes you breastfeed her children, too, who are approaching two years of age and starting to ask for a drink in complicated compound sentences.

My best to all of you this holiday season.  Be happy and healthy, and kiss your children for me.

xx ABZ

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